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The Search For a Regular Hole

10 Aug

All men are inherently horny. A guy’s horniness is the source of his default motivation, his inherent mindset, and the most basic instincts that he has. This leaves him driven by a desire to achieve a combination of three simple things:

  1. Sex on demand.
  2. With a marginally attractive partner.
  3. Who is not so unbearable as to make limited social interaction entirely unpleasant.

That’s it. This is not to say that context is irrelevant, but to large extent so long as these three elements are satisfied, a man is happy.

While ideally, a man would like to be with an incredibly attractive partner whom he enjoys spending time around, the reality is that once these desires have been reasonably satisficed, the marginal risk associated with searching out higher-quality partners increases substantially. On the average, acquiring a new partner isn’t worth the potential sacrifice of a current satisfactory partner, not to mention the additional costs of searching for and developing the new relationship, especially due to the unlikelihood of acquiring a new partner of a significantly higher caliber as to offset the costs.

The fact is men just want a hole that they believe they can reasonably obtain and maintain for the long-term. There is no super-secret mystery behind what men want, the simple issue is that it is rarely provided. The supply of reasonable attractive, tolerable mates is incredibly low. As a result, two things happen.

First, due to the limited availability of mates that reasonably satisfice all 3 considerations, those who fall into that category are able to demand significantly higher prices from the market than are normally affordable. This prices the vast majority of men out of the market. With this shortage in obtainable, satisfactory mates, men begin to sacrifice in some area in order to satiate their need, leading them to consider mates well below what is normally desired.

Second, the resultant upswing in competition to acquire what are effectively sub-par mates, due to the undersupply of quality mates, allows otherwise low-value mates to extract prices disproportionate to their value, albeit in an exponentially more temporary nature as total value decreases.

This shifts the entire equilibrium point in the mating market down substantially, resulting in under- and un-satisfied men, who are considerably more likely to end up with incentive structures that encourage both lower levels of commitment, and a higher incidence of attempted mate level-jumping. Both of which contribute to lower levels of satisfaction amongst sought-out mates.

Status Signaling Bell Curve

4 Aug

The importance of status-signaling directly correlates with an individual’s placement on the bell curve. At both the ultra-high and ultra-low end extremes, the majority of status-signaling behavior becomes largely muted – though this is due to polarly different reasons.

For the high-status individual, standard status-signaling behavior becomes unnecessary due to the evidentiary nature of their status. At certain levels, high-status individuals can even engage in what would normally be considered “status-lowering” activities due to the fact that their inherent high-status allows them to more easily disregard societally imposed inhibitions without fear of significant retribution – a self-reinforcing high-status signal itself.

On the other side of the divide, exists the ultra low-status individuals. The relatively low importance of signaling behavior to extremely low-status individuals spurs from a lack of ability to effectively mediate their low-status in the general social marketplace, even with the aid of proper signaling and status markers. Unable to compete in the overall market, the natural survival strategy then becomes to carve out a niche market which one can remain viable in.

As the vast majority of low-class individuals realize their inability to rise to the upper echelons of society, they then begin to focus not on achieving high-status, but rather attempt to gain a sense of relative high-status carved out of a differentiated group. The prettiest Denny’s waitress might have gained high-status amongst Denny’s waitresses, but in the general population Denny’s waitresses as a group are still low-status, and unless Denny’s waitresses as a group can manage to increase their overall market status (a highly-unlikely proposal), the highest-return social strategy for the majority of Denny’s waitresses is to develop and refine their own subculture, as differentiated from standard culture as possible. Achieving status, and the associated social power, amongst a low-status peer group is, after all, still better than having no status, and therefore no power, at all.

Strong signaling tends to occur with individuals and groups near the apex of the bell curve as these individuals, groups, and subcultures tend to have much higher levels of relative mobility. Being both in range to rise to the upper levels of society, and therefore gain significant power, and also to fall to the lower levels and suffer significant loss. Benefits of success and costs of failure for actors at this level are dramatically increased compared to the rest of the market, leading to high levels of competition, rivalry, and as a result, increased (and more dramatic) signaling activities.